The first step to overcoming defeat is to look at defeat as temporary.
The only failure in life is the failure to learn a lesson. I don’t know if you happen to be riding high right now and are killing it in life, or maybe you’re having a challenge right now. I am going to lean towards the latter, since you are reading an article like this. You might be down, and asking yourself.
How do I get back up?
My response to you first off is to reassure you that it is possible for you. People have been overcoming massive difficulties for thousands of years, and there are countless stories of overcoming seemingly impossible odds. There are a few different strategies that I’d like to discuss here.
I think that there is major difference between people’s psychology that determines the difference between success and failure. If you are here, I am going to assume you are an achiever, and as a person who tries big things, sometimes we are going to be met with a big letdown. We all will face temporary defeats and fall down.and the challenge is not only to get back up, but to realize that we control the meaning behind the setback. It can be happening because God is punishing us, or we can choose for it to mean that it is happening to make us stronger, and prepare us for an even greater destiny.
These two meanings will determine whether we just lay there and cry about falling off the horse, or get back up, dust ourselves off and climb on the saddle and try again. If you choose to be a victim of circumstance, a host of negative things can happen such as depression, or distraction. If we believe that the situation is here to strengthen us, than it does just that, and we are even stronger than before in spite of the setback. Those are two entirely different results, based upon the same challenge, just with different mindsets.
Realize that overcoming defeat is something that we all go through, but many people don’t talk about.
You don’t see many Instagram posts of a person who just lost their entire life savings investing is something that was a flop, no one wants to broadcast that image of themselves to the world… But people are failing around us all the time, and the ones who appear to be succeeding, paid the price of failing a lot to get where they are today. Every successful person though, has learned how to overcome defeat.
I will just spill the beans right here, to get to where I am today I have made tremendous sacrifices including leaving the relationship that I was in, get new types of friends, live in my car for 9 months to save money to start an online business, Then I hopped a flight to Thailand, had my business fail, lost all my money, I spent multiple periods of days starving and being behind on my rent in a country that wasn’t my own.
Finally I found the solution. It was something that I had actually been procrastinating about for years, but it is what I had wanted all along. For me it was writing. I had constantly told myself that I couldn’t have what I wanted, and it would just be excuse after excuse. Now though, I realize the appearance that life is so effortless to me, but I have paid a hell of a price to get to where I am today.
The good news about all of this in retrospect was that I have gained a tremendous amount of mental and emotional muscle. I have gotten to know myself in ways that I never would have otherwise.
I think that a valuable lesson is to realize that hard times are temporary, and that things can and will change in an instant.
One method that I use to get back on top is to develop what I call a daily victory mindset. I think of it as my daily rhythm. It gives me a general sense of progress every day. It is basically focusing on the small wins, and making it so that I always can feel like a winner.
I have found that if you focus on solutions, then your problems tend to starve. Focusing on what you fear, will likely bring that fear to pass. I always try to focus on the answers far more than the problems.
I find winning activities to focus on and make habits such as writing a journal, listening to inspirational music that inspires me, certain physical exercises that I do that get me feeling good about life. Another important habit that I have found that is a great way to snap my focus on what is most important is reading.
I think that a lot of life is hypnosis. We can either hypnotize ourselves consciously to behave in a way that will give us what we want in life, or we allow ourselves to be hypnotized by others. This is usually done through social media, TV, movies, news, friends, and family. We are either in charge of our minds, or we are choosing to let others be… But there will always be someone in charge. If we want to get back into control and overcome challenges, it is essential that we take charge of our greatest power.
Our greatest power is our ability to take decisive action towards a predetermined outcome.
Here is a YouTube Video I made about this topic early this year I recommend.
Another consideration is to do what makes you feel great. We all have music that puts us into certain moods… Use it to get yourself out of the slump. I think that the main thing that helps high achievers to overcome challenges is to make some sort of progress. We are all different, what progress means in your life, might be different than what it means for me since we have different goals. By the way, if you don’t have goals, get goals.
I think the best thing to do after a temporary defeat is set a new target to look forward to.
I believe we are all unique, and have different intrinsic desires and qualities. That is why I am a proponent of adapting your philosophy based upon what makes sense to you. Much of what has actually benefited me has come from Tim Ferriss, Marcus Aurelius, Ray Dalio, and Tony Robbins. You might want to take a look at those resources. Tony’s courses I know have bounced a lot of people out of difficult situations, myself included.
I am writing a book right now called called overcoming challenges. It illustrates well the differences between people, their needs, and how they overcome challenges in their unique and creative ways.
It is all about this so it’s it’s about people’s deepest challenges that they’ve ever had and how to overcome defeat in the worst of situations. If you want to hear an inspiring story. Listen to Oprah’s.
What are some things I can do today?
- Ask yourself, “Where do I want to see my life in a year from now?”
- How is this actually good? What can I learn from all of this?
- Take 2 actions in that direction before your mind talks you out of it.
- Believe you already have all it takes within you, and that you already know how to overcome defeat, because you really do.
If you move forward, I think that you will find that the path will always open, and that you will always have all that you need to move forward. It is up to you to move forward though. I think a major challenge that people have though is that they stop. Stopping equals death in my belief system.
I hope that you have benefited from this article. What is the greatest challenge you have over experienced? How did you overcome it?